the truth

To tell the truth, I don't know what to photograph.
I don't remember how, I don't remember when, I don't remember why.
The passional joy has become the greatest fear.

To tell the truth, I cannot take any more photographs.

ONCE

I am in love with this movie and this song.

sex・y [sek-see]

So what is "sexy"? It is usually a compliment but what does it really mean?
According to dictionary.com, it is:
1. concerned predominantly or excessively with sex; risqué
2. sexually interesting or exciting; radiating sexuality
3. excitingly appealing; glamorous
I have unfortunately never been told that I am until a couple days ago.

I was at the beach, photographing the beautiful sunset and people wlking by. It was just a lovely evening with unusually mild wind and warm sun. I encountered a stranger and somehow we happened to get some food and beer together. Since I just moved to the area, it was nice to know someone local who knows and loves the area. I was in my usual comfortable jeans, my 5 years old hoody jacket, flipflop and with no makeup and no bra. After we grabbed a slice of huge fresh pizza and cheap beer from a several blocks away, we came back to the beach and enjoyed the lovely scenery of the beach and tasty supper (the pizza with feta cheese and fresh veggies was actually delicious). Yes, there was nothing special that makes it romantic or whatever, but the word, "sexy", came out from his mouth suddenly. That was the last word I would expect to hear in my life especially in such a situation. I giggled with shock. I wasn't even try to look nice, pretty, or whatever makes me look better, and I happened to be "sexy"? What an irony is that. Yes, he was an Asian fetish in the end, but I still don't understand why he thought of using "sexy" instead of pretty or cute that would seem more natural in that situation.

There was an episode in Sex and the City about almost the same incident. I had never thought it would happen to my life when I watched, but here it is. It seems like in the US, being "sexy" is the most preffered than any other compliments. Strange how I feel differently...almost opposite.

ice wall

How amazing and magnificent the nature is.
'Frozen Voids' Ernesto Neto & Ocean North
-http://www.thesnowshow.com/en/previous/

in love

What a lovely city San Francisco is. My life has become more interesting. More places to go, more people to see, more possibilities I see in myself. Every single moment in this city whether good or bad, I appreciate sincerely as I used to when I was in Japan. Interestingly, I feel like I am back to Japan even though the atmosphere, people, location are completely different. The (unbelievably slow) MUNI ride reminds me of my high school days when I used to take train every single morning and evening and look at the scenery passing by through the dusty window and observe strangers on the train. Wandering around and discovering (in other words, getting lost) new places I have never been and expected, I remember that it was my habit before. The small parks where dogs are freed from leashes and saying hello to whoever they meet reminds me of my old elementary school days when I used to take my dog to parks every evening and play with whosever dogs are and talked with total strangers I did't even know their names.
I feel like I am returning to what I was before, in a good way.