When one becomes alcoholic....

I think I am in the very moment when people become alcoholic.

I feel powerless. I thought I can do anything I want if I try hard enough. This time, I don't know how much is "enough". I have been trying and sacrificing whatever I can do and give, but still don't see the result. I have tried to forget the bitterness and encourage me in various ways (yes, various weird ways...), but never seemed to have worked.

This very moment is the moment when the well-made, mellow, bitter-sweet Japanese Shocyu (potato wine) soaks through my body like water to sponge. How nice (bad) is that.