Saturday, November 08, 2008

first rainy day

Rain, rain, rain. Summer in San Francisco has finally ended and now winter has come. My body is still adjusting to this change slowly although my heart is trembling with excitement. I love the rain. It washes the ugly things away from the air, building, plants, flowers, and my endless worries. I become so calm when it rains. (too calm that I usually end up doing nothing but watching movies with hot tea.)
Today, I thought of what my life is - I am not talking about my whole life, but this moment of my life. I always felt that I am missing something important in my life, and this was the time I should figure it out. I listed what I have, and what I don't have - friends, family, lover, place to sleep, place to be, food to survive, food to enjoy, education, knowledge, talent... I don't have everything perfectly, but I have most of what people value in this society and everything I need to live. So why do I still feel that I am "missing" something important? I thought, thought, and thought for a whole day and still, I do not know what exactly it is. Then there came something to my mind - there is no such "missing" piece. The missing piece in my life is just an imagination of mine. In fact, the feeling of "missing" was the reflection of "wanting". I always feel "missing" even though I have everything I need, because I "want" more.
Life is funny. When you realize you are not missing but wanting, life seems so much clearer and more cheerful than ever. Or it is just because of the rain.


Post a Comment

<< Home